It’s hard to be in love with someone who hurts you so much. I would not say that I am “in love” with my husband at this point. Saying you’re “in love” with someone you’re divorcing is about as tricky as the concept of love itself. At this point, one year after separating from my husband and the finalization of our divorce on the horizon I am still learning that love is not enough. If there are children involved, the decision to end a marriage is even more devastating because the effects of it trickle through you and into the lives of your children forever.ĭespite the inevitable impact divorce will have on you and your children’s lives, I firmly believe it is better to come from a broken home than to live in one. I learned the hard way that love is not enough, and it is not a reason to stay in a relationship. But what I eventually had to accept in my marriage is that an unhealthy relationship wrecks you just as much, if not more, than a divorce. There's been days when i didn't think I could take any more but sharing the house has been really difficult, can't do anything else due to lack of finance.I am not an advocate of divorce. You will experience a rollercoaster of feelings and moods, what you are going thru is perfectly normal. It's not easy but I regret waiting/wasting years of my life with this man. You will have more rights while she is this age also. While you are strong and have your daughter to help and support you, you should take the lead and plan your new life with your daughter. IMHO i don't think you will ever be happy staying with him, you will always wonder what he has been up to all these years. It hurts so much because he never did it for me. My stbx has been crueller than I ever imagined, he is away every weekend with ow and has taken her to the poshest of hotels. He was abroad with work for 2 weeks when I went to the solicitor with receipts for jewellery I found in his car, I think because he wasn't at home at the time gave me the strength I needed.īe warned tho, he may be nice now, but a solicitors letter can turn them into mean, nasty people. I wanted to leave years ago, but after years of being told 'it's all in your head' I suffered from depression and low self asteem. When this year I finally found some proof it was all I needed.
I too suspected things were going on for years, only with my one it was always someone at work. It's now been 9 months since I separated from my stbx but unfortunately we are all still in the FH. I am now 51 with a daughter of 14 at home.
Hopefully that will make things clearer for you. And your life is yours to live how you want. And one day return to his high on the hog lifestyle.Īt the end of the day we have one life. And I suspect that he thinks he can win you round. He is not stupid and knows that this day would come. A widow to the pub, the golf and all the rest of it. Can you live like this for the next 20 - 30 or more years? Would you be better off without this person? I think what may help you is ask yrself some questions. She cheated I didnt trust her and she stuck with the person she cheated on me for. Its not that clear cut for you is it? Like some that have been cheated on and all the rest of its clear what needs to be done.
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